Don't Hope Friend...Decide

Don't Hope Friend...Decide
by Michael Hargrove

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about. You know, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly? Well, this one occurred a mere two feet away from me! Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First, he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, and movingly loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, diverted his eyes, and replied softly, "Me too, Dad!"

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe 9) and while cupping his son's face in his hands he said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. His son said nothing. No reply was necessary.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one and a half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi baby girl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder and remained motionless in total pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then quietly said, "I love you so much!". They stared into each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant, they reminded me of newlyweds but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't be. I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?"

"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those." he replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face.

"Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile and told me, "Two whole days!"

Two days?! I was stunned! I was certain by the intensity of the greeting I just witnessed that he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months, and I know my expression betrayed me. So, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"

The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with an intensity that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope friend...decide." Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!". With that, he and his family turned and energetically strode away together.

I was still watching that special man and his exceptional family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?" Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"


About the Author:
© Copyright 1997 by Michael D. Hargrove.

Still in love after seeing 77 Valentine's Days

Still in love after seeing 77 Valentine's Days

Salem (US): Fred Landis has a Valentine's Day ritual. Sometime, somewhere, he'll lean over to his wife, Gwen, and say, ''I love you.'' They say he's been doing that on Valentine's Days since 1928, when they were married.

In October 2005, Fred, 102, and Gwen, 101, celebrated their 77th wedding anniversary, and they are not far shy of a record. The longest current marriage, according to the 2006 edition of Guinness World Records, is 78 years, 296 days.


On Valentine's Day 2006, Fred will say ''I love you'' a bit louder than he used to because Gwen is hard of hearing. Fred has macular degeneration, which has kept him from writing poetry for her.Gwen says Fred wrote poems to her during their courtship, a gesture that may have won her heart.

"I think that had something to do with it", she said with a shy smile.
They met in 1924 as college students, he at Albany College and she at Simpson Bible College in Seattle. Fred attended a church where Gwen's father was the pastor. When they were married, Gwen's father performed the ceremony.

Gwen remembers receiving $800 for a wedding gift, then losing it all in the stock-market crash the following year.The Landises spent the next four decades working in ministry and raising four children. Fred was the pastor at several small churches in the Northwest.Gwen played the piano and organ and taught Sunday school.
He retired in 1970, and they have lived in Salem since then. They moved to a retirement center in 1994.

"They're just wonderful people.You couldn't find any better", says a friend, Dorothea McAuley."They're setting an example for everybody.They're always happy. I've never seen one of them angry. They're God's example".

Commitment is the word Gwen uses to describe their marriage success.Fred agrees.
"Sure, we've had squabbles and disagreements galore",he said."But there's a commitment to marriage because we have a reverence to it".

They have eight grandchildren and 19 great-grandchildren.Son John,67,says he continues to be amazed by his parents,their relationship and their lives.
"I think--I know--they would not have lived this long singly",John says."They keep each other going".

Vivek Paul's elephant trick - www.news.com

Vivek Paul's elephant trick
June 30, 2005 5:05 PM PDT
http://news.com.com/2061-10788_3-5770737.html

One of the world's most respected business leaders owes much of his success to the failings of an elephant.

Vivek Paul, who recently decided to step down as CEO of Wipro Technologies to become a venture capitalist, says one key to his achievement is a sharp focus on improving business processes. The other major factor has to do with the "soft" side of management--he says people tend to limit themselves.

Encouraging Wipro employees to bust self-imposed boundaries may have helped Paul lead his business to ramp up revenue from $150 million in 1999 to $1.4 billion in 2004.

But it was his encounter with an elephant outside of Bangalore more than a dozen years ago that crystallized this philosophy.

Paul was curious why an elephant tied to a small stake in the ground did not yank it up and be on its way. The animal's handler explained that baby elephants tied to similar stakes learn they can't break free. As elephants grow older and stronger, they don't test the stake again--thereby remaining trapped by what should be an obsolete restraint.

"I said, 'By gosh! That's probably relevant to people as well,'" Paul said.

Posted by Ed Frauenheim

EQ In, IQ Out? - Economic Times

EQ In, IQ Out? Cos looking beyond IIMs
K YATISH RAJAWAT & KALA VIJAYRAGHAVAN
TIMES NEWS NETWORK[ MONDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2006 02:03:23 AM]
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-1401936,curpg-3.cms

MUMBAI: Corporates such as HSBC, LG, HLL and a host of others are changing mindset while hiring talent to tackle a fiercely competitive global marketplace.

HR experts find that in some cases companies prefer emotional quotient (EQ) over intelligent quotient (IQ) when it comes to risk-taking and decision-making ability in a tough marketplace. Consequently, companies are opting for different sorts of talent by recruiting not only from top management institutes but also from the third-rung institutes.

Some companies feel that students with exposure to tougher living standards fare better at decision-making and risk-taking capabilities in a globalised marketplace than students from financially well-off and comfortable backgrounds (typically IIMs).

In fact, several companies are trying to get out of a blinkered mindset to tap talent from even the third-rung management institutes. “I think most of us are shaking off blinkered mindsets about hiring talent. Enterprise and risk-taking capabilities matter more in a competitive market.

A high score at academics may mean a high IQ but we need academics with a higher EQ. And that’s not really learnt at business schools,” said Y Verma, HR head at LG Electronics. A highly placed HLL official said students with better EQ were being favoured over toppers.

“Times have changed now and the marketplace has got too stressful. Of course, we continue to tap the IIMs where the strike rates are always better than other institutes, where a bit more hunting has to be done to tap good students.

A lot also depends on how much time a senior management give to recruitment processes. But it is true that a better EQ fares better in the face of competition,” he said. HR heads of several coprorates said IIM graduates seem to be have more attitudinal issues since students tend to come from more well-off families.

They have high expectations. Ramalingam Raju, chairman of Satyam Computers, a serial entrepreneur, says that he believes the attitude determines the success of an individual in an organisation.

“Indian corporates have typically been paying a higher price for talent not as good. IIMs are getting to be more of a status symbol. Most of them are not very open to handling risks. Corporates tell us that. “IIMs may be hard-working but not really enterprising.

The programmes designed at IIMs are more knowledge-driven and do not actually tackle business competancies,” said Pramod Kumar, president of International School of Business & Media.